The way I see everything!!!

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category


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Sometimes when things don’t go your way, and you can’t see what lies ahead of you… Just keep doing the right things and have a clear mind. I am learning this now.

Things work out for the best!


Written by shivnarayan

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 7:14 am


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When someone says friends are your pillar of strength, I am not sure if they realise how deep the statement is. I believe that friends complete you in every possible way. And that is the beauty of friendship. No one is born perfect. But, often, the people we interact with, with whom we share our lives, make up for our inherent inadequacies. Be it a fear of spiders, or a character flaw, people who matter, who share their lives with us complete us in so many dimensions that these inadequacies do not matter anymore. And in a lot of cases, they help us identify our shortcomings, embrace them and eventually overcome them. 

However one denies this, the basic trait that binds us together is our desire to be accepted, to be loved. And probably, one always seeks out for more and more friends because, with each new friend, one is protected even more. We might never attain perfection, but, friends help us get there. Parents, lovers, kins… we might give each relationship a new name. But, in its crudest form, it is friendship, isnt it?

I have been lucky to have friends who cover for me. Everytime I goof up. Sometimes its my parents, sometimes my sister, sometimes D, and most times, my friends. I enjoy living, because, I have people who put up with me. People for whom I matter! People who complete me. 

I don’t know what happens when you see death. But I belive that that last minute before one dies, his whole life passes in front of his eyes. And how perfect has he become at the end of the day. And the sense of fulfillment that one is filled with, knowing that one has led a life worth living, attained perfection… that sense is heaven.

The last 25 years give me confidence that I will reach experience heaven. When I have to reach there.


P.S. This post is inspired by a conversation I had with Biks recently.  Thanks Biks, for making me think too. 🙂

Written by shivnarayan

Friday, February 6, 2009 at 12:42 am

A new begining…

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Had a wonderful birth anniversary. Friends called from everywhere… Thanks everyone for calling. Yesterday, I read somewhere that as one grows old, it sucks to be forgotten. I am definitely not old… But when loved one’s call, remembering your birthday, celebrating the most important day of your life, the day your existence was defined, it makes one feel blessed, doesn’t it? Thank you guys! The day was perfect, in every sense of the word.

There were many best parts abt this birthday. The most important being that I was spending this birthday at home… After 8 years. That was the primary reason for my trip to Mumbai infact. A long vacation, with a birthday as an icing! (No vague indirect puns here).

Morning was sober. Afternoon, went for some Suit Shopping. Didn’t like any of the ready made ones, and decided to get one stiched. I loved the material, and the tailor is very reputed. So, hoping for a very smart suit indeed. Came back home to a wonderful surprise by the gang… They had sent a cake and D’s special touch of a rose. It was ammmazing. 🙂 So, after exactly 19 years, I got a chance to cut the cake with 6 year olders. 🙂 Neighbour’s kids Anika (aged 2), Vrinda (4) and Rishit (6/7) and Adarsh (8) came home within a record 10 minutes wishing me ‘Happy Birthday Bhaiyya’. Although, I am almost the Uncle Age now! 🙂 Cut the cake and got the cake smeared on my face by 6 year olds! 🙂 I am sure, the gang would have loved that! 🙂 THanks guys!

At 8:30, had an interview with Dr Lori Garnier of Queens University. The interview went good… The questions revolved aroung teams, and how to handle them. I am happy with the way the interview went, and am hoping for a favourable response. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Spent the evening with my family, replying to the scraps and wall messages in Orkut and Facebook respectively. Now, thinking of crashing… A wonderful birthday, and I am glad, I was remembered. Thank you guys. Meant a zillion! 🙂

Written by shivnarayan

Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 1:26 am

Posted in Admissions, Birthday, Life

A sense of belonging?

with 5 comments

Current mood: Restrospective

I was talking to AK today and the topic eventually went to the number of places we have lived in, and its advantages. She came up with a term called ‘Traveller’s Temperament’. Her funda was that people who have travelled and seen more cultures have the tendency to acknowledge other’s opinions, be a little more thoughtful and a lot of other stuff.

I have lived in Bombay for 16 years, 2 years in Chennai, 4 in Tanjore (a small city with rich heritage in Tamil Nadu), followed by 2 years in Cochin, and now more than 1 year in Bangalore. On retrospection, it is amazing to see the way I have changed, and probably accepted different ways of thinking over this period.

Mumbai was fun, full of innocence, with a Don’t-Give-A-Damn attitude. Some of my closest friends are from Mumbai, we have probably been such great friends for over a decade now. Chennai was a complete shift from Mumbai, when it came to outlook of the people. Personally, I never liked Chennai. There was a conservative outlook that was almost a farce. The kind of conservative outlook that was (and is) prevalent in Chennai is largely because of the fear of the society, than actually believing in it. Tanjore was special in a lot of ways. I became independent there. Staying in a hostel, being with people who were entirely different from me, in every angle, I realised the importance of detachment there. I guess, it was in Tanjore that I stopped trusting people. I made mistakes, which I won’t make. I did good things, that I would do forever. To be judicious was something I learnt there I guess. I guess, Tanjore made me a big fish in a small pond, and I loved it. Cochin was entirely different. I made friends, and professional friends. I was responsible for a larger entity. The detachment grew. Now, bangalore is a complete mix of party, fun and absolute professional friendship. The decisions have to be practical, rather than emotional. I can safely say that I can make the most logical and judicious decisions today.

Now for the question. Is this good? from a professional stand point, definitely Yes. From a social perspective, I would tend to agree again. Having seen so many people, I guess I shall be able to work and socialize with them comfortably. But then when asked ‘Where do I want to settle down eventually?’, things are not that rosy. Mumbai? Chennai? Or Bangalore? (I am ruling out Tanjore and Cochin myself). I go back to Mumbai, and I am left with friends whom I know for over a decade. But still there is a vacuum. A gap left behind. I have some really close friends in Chennai. But I wont settle there. I am really different from the kind of mindset that persists there. I might never be able to satisfy the expectations of the extended family. Does that leave me with Bangalore as the option? No.

The problem is… in the process of ‘Maturing mentally’ I fear, I have lost the sense of belonging to any particular place. And that scares me. As I told AK, I might have the most logical answer to the question “Where do you want to settle down?”, But I don’t have an emotional answer. And this is one of those questions, which mandate an emotional answer as well.

I got this line from AK’s blog, and like her, it pretty much summed up how I am feeling now:

“And underneath it all, there remained an ever-present anger and hurt, the feeling of belonging nowhere that comes to people who belong everywhere.”

White Teeth by Zadie Smith

Written by shivnarayan

Thursday, August 21, 2008 at 12:40 am

Hope… is beautiful!!!

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life is beautifulI had the good fortune to watch an excellent movie recently… “Life is beautiful”. This Italian masterpiece “La Vita e bella” is probably one of the most beautifully made movies in in world cinema…

The story is about a Jewish bookkeeper Guido (played to perfection by Roberto Benigni) and his family, during the Nazi era.

While I have seen many World War II movies, or war movies in general, what makes this movie special is the hope that it brims you with, once you are thru with the movie. Guido and his family are taken to one of the many concentration camps that were prevalent during Hitler’s regime. What can a father do in this case? Does he tell him the grim reality, scaring the little boy to death? Does he try to do something heroic (like our desi movies) and save the boy and his family(making it too far fetched to believe)? NO! Instead, Guido tells the kid that the whole thing is a game, and the winner gets a real tank!

What I loved about the movie is the beautiful way in which Guido seeks hope in the darkest moment. His is the character that I cannot relate to, but would love to have an attitude like his. Be it wooing his lady love in a very innocent but cute manner, or hiding the racial discrimination that was meted against them for not being the ‘Aryan‘ race, or saving his son’s life in the most unusual yet believable manner thru sheer optimism.

How many times have we faced situations where we have faced despair, lost hope, immersed ourselves in self pity and bawled away to doom to everyone about out fate or kismet?? I have done that a lot of times. While I am not guaranteeing that I shall never do it again, what this movie taught me is what you see is what you get! While I believe in being realistic, than optimistic or pessimistic, this movie showed me the difference in being realistic and being cynical or critical about one’s choices.

I guess, our lives are governed by the choices that we make… But then, once a choice is made, we spend too much time analyzing if the choice made was correct and incorrect. Our ineptitude to identify the present from the ‘recent past’ makes us not cherish the present. Irrespective of the choices we make, I have been inspired by this movie to live the present to the fullest, and plan the future without ruining the present. Irrespective of the darndest situation that engulfs us, we get bogged down only if we lose hope. And this movie has taught me that ‘Nothing is worth losing your hope for’.

Yes, I agree… Life is indeed beautiful. and ‘Hope’ makes it so…

Written by shivnarayan

Friday, May 25, 2007 at 2:07 am